Monday, November 12, 2007

I Was a Boob


I married the kids' dad when I was 17..he was 18. I had my first child, Mike, when I was almost eighteen. One of the problems I encountered early on... was that while I was enjoying the thought of married life..my husband still wanted to drag main, honk at his friends, drink warm Budweiser, and talk with the ladies. oooops.

It was 1970, and I wanted to nurse my little newborn...as was the popular deal at that time...but just barely. I had heard that breast-feeding would be good for the baby. One of the problems I encountered early on...was that my boobs grew to be the size of atom bombs and were just about as hard. I was told to get into a very hot tub of water, soak those girls, and then pump. I was afraid to leave Mikey alone, so I'd put him in a tiny air-filled pool on top of me in the tub. Pumping was done with a hand-held thingee that looked like my tricycle horn.

Well, so much for breast-feeding. After 6 weeks of total misery, and one very unhappy little baby, I went to my dumb Dr. and asked how to dry up the milk in my boobs. He gave me some red pills to take for a week. Relief. I could finally lay on my stomach again..and move without shooting milk all over the sheets...and the baby and I stopped crying all the time. I no longer felt like "a walking boob".

I began to mix formula for Mikey...and he slept 4 hours in a row... for the first time! I finally had, what I am guessing was, a maternal experience. He would eat, then sleep..and I would enjoy hours just watching his angelic little face. One of the problems I encountered after that, was getting kicked off the La Leche volleyball team. Oh well. Those girls couldn't serve anyway.

3 comments:

Eileen and Karen said...

Boy, that was young! I don't think I would have known what to do with a baby or a husband at that age.
I can relate to the boob thing, I wasn't that big but going through the winter, cold makes hard boobs really hurt!

Me. Here. Right now. said...

I'm laughing about the volleyball team. Couldn't serve indeed. This is like a Jack Handy moment!

My mom had me when she was 18, married at 16. I can't imagine. I was such an idiot at 18, I would seriously have f*'d up a kid. Glad you did a better job.

Anonymous said...

Yep..I laughed when I wrote it! I love the ref. to Jack Handy.

Mike turned out just fine..but only because he did lots of work himself. Jer came out over-easy, and should've been put back till he was well-done.